honestly my day are getting worst without him =(

Dear blog ;)

it`s been a long time i did not write anything here~

there`s a lot of thing happen & the worst that i`ve done is~

I BROKE UP WITH PUTRAA x(

& it`s all happen cuz of myself i have no mutual feeling for him~ it`s ups & down! So i make decision to let go of him~ at the first i tried to make some troubles by online without leave him a miss call as usual but after two days i did that he jush patiently waiting for me to make a change~ he`s too kind while me? i alwesh ignore him... too demand.. really-really selfish... i never care about what he feels when my feeling are too down.. so i think it`s better if we`re jush a friend~ he deserve a girl who`s much better than me! moreover,i am jush suit to be a good friend not a good girlfriend~

i`m so sorry dear! i already try to be the one.. since i realise you are trying to do the best for me! but i jush can`t! it`s hard for me to trust a guy with what happen~ & many things i can`t stand anymore feel like our love is carving!

then after the first day being single.. i start to make it as a normal day like before~ i can smile laugh without him! & even cry! yeaah~ i can survive without him!

but it`s not goes perfectly as what i thought~ i have no mood to do my homeworke,loss my appetite i jush eat chocolate & i got headache after had a call with him on that night then in the morning i push myself to present in school~ purposely i wana make my schedule full!

my day are getting worst without him! when my geography 1st assessment fail! i jush got 6.5 out of 25! WTF is that~ feel like i am a lunatic! i already do my revision~ maybe it`s not enough!i wish he`s there to comfort me! x( then after i went home early at 12 cuz i`m not feeling so well i forget to eat a medicine this stuff is one of the thing that he alwesh remind me to do x(

at home?i saw she`s cried again~ uhhh when this thing will going to end? I sick with it~ yeaah i know it`s hard to trust that it`s jush nothing but he already try to fix his mistake~ sometimes time is the best cure! & ezaa`? she`s seems like angry with me! i jush can`t call her yesterday~ sorry buddy! Uhhh i never feel so down like this before~ uhhhh~ i need him!

hmmm & last morning i text him~ ahaa stupid waa~ in that time i was sitting on the living room alone! then i felt like there`s someone there~ & i plan to have a look but it`s cancel after I got goose bumps & further more i remember my mum story~ she told me that when my age at 2 i saw a ghost,i waved to her & tell mum she`s my friend!takut jua kuu tuu~ i told him! thank god he`s there!so i am not too afraid! so far we`re jush a good friend he ask me to msg him if online..

can`t denny~ ilovemishneedyousomuchhdear!

should i reunite back with him? it`s that the besh way? yeaah i mish him~ i damnly do! i mish his msg,his text when online,his voice,his smile,his warmth,his face,his cut hair,fone? absolutely i addicted with him!i`m not sure with my feeling it`s ups & down! i still thinking~ break up is my decision so i will make it right! jush be friend with him (; if i can survive! if everything is jush fine! if i can do everything alone! but what if i can`t? should i ask him to wait for me? isn`t that jush wasting his time? what if he wait then i meet with the new guy?

I HAVE NO IDEA!