i`m hurt again & again,are you happy? what i`ve done? you liers! what you mean by that? darn you!! why giving hope & make me fall with no attention to catch me. baby,what happen until make u think that way? don`t call me baby.. i hate youuu! nooo..there`s must be something unsettle here.. tell me slowly .. don`t let ur emotional feeling control you..your attitude now making her success in tearing us apart. okay should i just pretend that i`m blind,deaf & stupid with what she told & email me. those pictures is suck it really was.. i`m not that worst..you should put your trust me on me..okaay? I Love Youuu.. love? what`s the point of saying I love you after hurting me… I prefer you just kill me rather than punished me like this.. don`t said like that.. i can explain everything.. i guess i don`t need any explanation.. i think it`s better we`re until here cuz i`m sick with you!you are so endearing..& it`s killing me!!stop it!!
at almost 4 am.. i awake and that STUPID NIGHTMARE should be blame for this falling tears..i dream about something that i supposed to FORGET.. is`nt that stupid? damn!i don`t know why stupidity always in my side..how could it be happen? i`m not thinking to much about him.. i`m not even remember him before i`m off to sleep.. goshhhh~what my mistake?until the scars that he made in my heart still bleeding? does he cursing me? hell no..he`s not that type of person..
*take a deep breath & try to sleep with the tears*
wana fix everything.. & forget about this fucking shit!
& mum,
if i can.. i want to swim in ur heart so i know how does it feel. maybe i don`t understand why it`s so dificult for you.. but i can be there to cheers you up..
iloveyousomuch!
lastly, wish me to be chose tomorrow.. to join the visit to K.K.. AMIN!
p/s: they ignored each other & look the other way but they both know.. it`s not supposed to end this waaay..
p/s:This is an avril lavigne video where she is crying cause her grandpa die that day when sha was on tour..away from him and the rest of her family but that didn´t stop her to sing and she dedicate the song to her grandapa..
And I wanna believe you, When you tell me that it'll be ok, yeah I try to believe you, But I don't
When you say that it's gonna be, It always turns out to be a different way, I try to believe you, Not today, today, today, today (Today)
[Chorus:]
I don't know how I'll feel, tomorrow, tomorrow I don't know what to say, tomorrow, tomorrow, it's a different day,
(Tomorrow)
It's always been up to you, It's turning around, It's up to me, I'm gonna do what I have to do, just don't
Give me a little time, Leave me alone a little while, Maybe it's not too late, not today, today, today, today, today...
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, and I know I'm not ready,
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, maybe tomorrow
Tomorrow... it may change Tomorrow... I'm gonna change
It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
anyway,
ekaa H 18thB (;
may god bless you! succes in life! & i wish you every happiness!
in my business study period, which was my 1st class on that day..
tutor roslin:sapa ada duit damit $5-$5?
then i checked my bag to take out my wallet, but it was`nt there.
so i tried to think positive..
by make my own suggestion that i forgot to bring it.
at home, it cud`nt find it!!!
as what i remember, the day before it`s still with me..
even after i went home from the school, i still remember that..
then now?
where the hell is it?
my wallet will return,right? AMIN!!
another story.........................................
at the school, while i was waiting for daddy to fetch me around 4pm.
there was a girl waiting too.. then her fone rang!
``I hung up the phone tonight Something happened for the first time Deep inside it was a rush, what a rush Cause the possibility That you would ever feel the same way About me, just too much, just too much Why do I keep running from the truth? All I ever think about is you You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized Do you ever think when you're all alone All that we can be, where this thing can go? Am I crazy or falling in love? Is it really just another crush? Do you catch a breath when I look at you? Are you holding back like the way I do? Cause I've tried and tried to walk away But I know this crush ain?t going away-ay-ay Going away-ay-ay Are we just friends? Is there more? Is there more? See it's a chance we've gotta take Cause I believe that we can make this into Something that will last, last forever, forever!``
listen to this song, it`s a OUCH for me..
flashback when, he tried to conquer my heart, i used to think that he just my another crush.
flashback when, after he called me for the 1st time, i had accept him as the boyfriend of mine.
everything is a RUSH...
just for a second, i felt so weepy..
& asked myself..
``why?what is this?is it worth``
thank god, i can hold my tear.
for me, sometimes it`s better to be ignorant...
but, idk why today i become too sensitive if something involve about him.
maybe after knowing that he`s been HURT by that girl?
last morning i told him that i be waiting for him~is this the best way?will he return back?am i going to happy with this?
idk~but now?i`m not that strong =`c tearss keep falling down!
WAITING is painful, FORGETTING is painful but not KNOWING which one to do is the worst kind of SUFFERING~
i want to wait but waiting? the most stuff that i really-really hate! & i don`t want to disturb his relationship~ what if i`m in that girl situation? how i feel? uhhh~ plus i can`t stand if i remember he`s other girl`s boyfriend ;( bullshit! & both of them study in the same school!& while us? we are seldom to meet~am i going to success to make him return?
uhhh now i`m the one who struggle waiting for him~
should i.. pick to forget him? life goes on right? but.. raaraa alwesh used to wait for me when i said goodbye he can do it~ why not me? yeaaah i try to be in his shoes~ tapi the situation it`s not the same when i said my feeling is down i didn`t find anothers tapi ea? goshhhh~ should i forget him? whiness~
uhhh~ i don`t know!but the point is i want him baack! ouchieee =`c poor me!uhh if i said i want, i will try my best to have it no matter whaat!yeaah i will keep trying like what he did before & i will try to make it worth!
baabi~ it`s hurt me alots & i know i deserved all of this!there`s no one to blame accept me!
putraa te quiero! =`c
fuhhh~
hope tommorow when i woke up i be fine!i wana make new life without him~maybe it`s kinda hard! yeaah i try as hard as i can to forget him!
i just need some time~ time will make me forget about him but time that passes will make me miss him more~ uhh no matter what he will always have a place in my hart!i jush don`t wana cry any tear for him! that`s all~ i sick of it!
i never regret with what happened cuz` at same point everything is meant to be! just stay strong & keep on smile-ing it`s going to be alright!
tonight i`m watching af alone~uhh feel so lonely~i wisssh aril win the first trophy!
hmm
& me?
a pampered girl who love to make alotss of trouble =/
even that person just want to give suggestion in a polite way~however my responsed was unpleasant~ziee i know you might read this~i just not in the good mood in that moment when you told me that news!it`s suck!it`s really does!i won`t forget you also said so~ so i hope you understand why i being rude~
so i herby asking an apology from you & pleshh don`t make any worst!
uhhh my life`s getting messy & messy & messy!
& putraa~
at the first when we united back everything is alright but now? idk~ to me he`s a bit change! maybe cuz` of i always wana break up~so now i`m the forgotten~ i deserved this right? yeaaah i think so~ maybe it`s KARMA!
still think what`s best for me & ezaa` told me to do what in my mind~ when i try to find the solution it`s stuck since he did not contact me so let it be this waay~uhh putraa te quiero~ =`c
i won`t cry right? yeaah ofcourse not just keep smiling!
hope tomorrow`s picnic at pantai muara will make me more relieved & forget this hurtful thingss~
i can`t close my eyes to sleep & this fucking damn headache is killing me! i already ate 2 pills of panadol but however it`s does not effect me~ & now i feel like i wana eat all of them! pttff this headache! i can`t stop thinking about him! i sick sick sick sick of it! keep asking myself am i regret to let him go? it`s a no right? but why my tears are keep falling? my puppy eyes won`t lie! uhhh~ zureen you`re right! now i`m the one who regret doing all of this! baabi~ it`s hurt me brabish! =) i fake a smile jush want to hide my pain~ so people surrounding me don`t really worry especially mummy~ uhhhh~ a lunatic me!
JUSH LET HIM GO OKAAY!
this is my decision so make it right!i`m jush fine~ jush need a time to cure ;) & PUTRAA? he deserved a girl who much better than me! HOPE SO! PUTRAA do a good take care of yourself! ilmnysm!
hm anyway i jush know that ezaa give me a mail! i feel relieved after read that~ wana know what she mail me? simple jaa~ i mish you ezaa! actually i wana call you tapi i think you already sleep right now!
so this the mailbox that i received from her ;)
Jush wana say HALLO. AND assalamu'alaikum !
MISS G.A.E Syzters'ss !
Huh ~
anyway,
study hard & study smart okk.
(; wish youu cautious in everyday, everywhere& in everything youu do.
Just keep in touch aite !
I'm gonna be having a lot to do&very busy.
I'll be apologizing for it.
Futhermore,
if i'm unconcern about yaa as if it happens tho.
Forgive me will yaa.
K take care then.
Farewell ~~
ezaa'ss here ~
WHAT SO EVER !
lalala~from what happen i learn that~
Never give up upon something if you still wana TRY! Never wipe your tears if you still wana CRY! Never settle with an answer if you still wana KNOW! NEVER say you don`t love him..If you can`t let him go!
★Cheerful★Naturally Sensitive★Easily-Crying★Pampered★Stuborn★Naughty★Ambitious★Naive★Childish★Sometimes Damnly Annoying★IMPERFECT GIRL★FYI i ♥ being that way x)★
